What is this thing called Love?

Some months ago, I got tired of watching the flurry of activity going on around me and having none of the action. Days had gone by without a single one of my "facebook friends" saying or doing anything in my corner so I figured out the best way to get everyone's attention would be to talk about something we all understand. I decided to start a conversation about LOVE.

After posing the question "what is this thing called love" I realised soon enough that nobody seemed to really have the foggiest idea how to define this so called "universal language". I got a few fumbling answers, some text book responses, but nothing satisfactory. Still, I was happy, at least someone was reading and posting something on my wall.

Next, to spice things up, I came up with a philosophical sounding conclusion saying something about love not being an emotion but a decision...really serious high sounding stuff, if I may say so myself. Now that really caught everyone's attention. All of a sudden, they "knew" what love was, or perhaps what it was not....and I got some colourful analogies of how unanticipated love is, most of which I dare not repeat here.

Finally, thoroughly fired up by the attention I was getting, I posted a very romantic quote and not unexpectedly, my "facebook wall" became a hive of activity....My mission was accomplished.

What was really funny about all this though, is that everyone assumed it was romantic love I was asking about. Nobody spoke of the different types of love that we have – a parental love perhaps, the type of love that believes in you even when to the rest of the world it is evident that you have clearly lost your way; or filial love – the kind that you have for your siblings because you know they are yours no matter what you do, and there is just no getting rid of them (love you sis!)....or the kind of love that makes a sister or a brother out of a friend (much like you, "L").

I pose the question again, "What is this thing called Love?"

The Animal in You

I once remember my colleagues returning from a training seminar on group dynamics and all they were talking about was animals. Apparently, during the seminar they had been taught a principle which categorized people into different groups that related to animal characteristics. There were about 12 of them, but the ones I remember distinctly are:

The donkey: these are people that are very stubborn and will not change their point of view
The lion: the kind of people who fight whenever others disagree with their plans
The ostrich: the type of person that buries his head in the sand and refuses to admit any problem at all
The cat: this type of person is always looking for sympathy
The tortoise: who withdraws from the group refusing to give ideas or opinions
The peacock: these are the ones who are always competing for attention – they think too highly of themselves.

So next time you meet someone, be sure to take a closer look at them. You might actually be face to face with a housefly – a regular pest that always turns up when they are not wanted and sticks their hands into everything. Or perhaps you might be dating a butterfly – hardly sticks to one thing, always flitting from this to the other. Or you might be lucky enough to meet a tiger – the kind that has a high level of social tolerance so their fights are kept to a minimum.

Or maybe I should be asking, what kind of an animal are you?

Venus and Mars Collide

I cannot think of a time I was more embarrassed than earlier this year when my attempts at showing appreciation of one of my friends went terribly sour!

At the dawn of the new year, as you were making your new year's resolutions all of which by now are broken, I was doing something far more exciting. I did a thorough inventory of my friendships and came to the conclusion that there was one friend I was treating particularly shabbily.

This particular friend is quite resourceful in a profession that I am new to, so from time to time, I call him up when I need technical help. This is not a bad thing, of course, what are friends for? However, the problem is I had only looked him up specifically when I needed help, and never otherwise (tsk! tsk!)

So, in the spirit of new beginnings and making amends, I purposed to call him up when I don't need help and just have a good old chat. This seemed like a perfectly grand idea to me until the last minute of the evening we were supposed to meet up for a drink and a chat when this friend balked!

After replaying the incident several times in my head and with a few consultations here and there from member of the less fare sex, I think I may have unravelled the mystery. He thought I was hitting on him! A single unattached woman, on a mission, offering rather assertively to buy him a drink, out of the blues, and not asking for any favours as was the custom, may have been all too much for him!

I have since abandoned that mission and set out on one that I hope will be greatly beneficial to the entire human race, well, perhaps the entire woman race - an in depth analysis of the theory that men are from mars and women from venus. Any volunteers, guys? I promise, I won't offer to buy you a drink!

Life is a Bitch, and then you die

For some reason, today I am reminded of a very foolish business venture I once undertook at a time when I had no money to loose. Not that I ever have money that is designated "to loose".

Anyway, I committed a tidy sum of money, tidy, considering my financial state at the time, to taking part in an exhibition that was supposed to make me lots of money and give me contacts that would help me sell my hundreds of handmade cards. (If y'all are really nice, I might show you my handiwork sometime). The idea was all really brilliant, an exhibition of different arts and crafts in an up-market residential area where people supposedly have a better art-sense and yes, have deeper pockets. There was only one problem though – not enough publicity was done for the event!

So there I am on a Saturday afternoon, having spent the better part of my morning selling nothing, and watching the dark rain clouds gathering. (I thought that only happens in movies). Life sucks, right? Wrong!

If you asked me how my day had been, I would honestly have said "great!" And it had. You see, there was this handsome guy with a voice to die for, who had paid me special attention the whole day (girls, stop rolling your eyes on me, you know what I mean). I mean, the guy did a double take when he saw me, despite my faded jeans, hustled look and no make-up. And after that, he spent most of the time at my stand, talking about the cards, my work, his life, and I don't know whether he was so funny or I was suffering a heatstroke from the day's earlier sun, but he made me laugh a great deal.

The moral of the story? Life is a bitch and then you die...or life is an exciting adventure packed with unexpected twists and turns. You choose. I did.

Only change is constant!

I have a famous quote I coined...well maybe I didn't really coin it...but I like to quote it often, like my personal mantra. I could have said this to you before and I will probably say it again

"The only thing that remains constant in life is the fact that things are always changing"

or more simply put,

"The only constant in life, is change."

Yet, for some reason we all fear and resist change with all our might. We lift our cheeks, colour our hair and cling to people whom we should have let go of a long time ago!

Yeah, letting go of people can be one of the hardest changes to accept. Perhaps if we borrowed a leaf from nature, then we would move through life more gracefully.

Just like trees shed leaves in fall to put on new ones next spring, whether we resist it or not, when a person's season is over in your life, they may need to be shed.
Now, before you go ahead and decide to shed me, remember, that not all people in your life are leaves! There are always some people in your life that are meant to be there forever. They are like buttress roots, holding you firmly to the ground.

So go on – find out what season it is in your life, figure out what part the people and things in your life play – then boldly embrace change!