There's an Elephant in My Room

There's an elephant in my room, a very large elephant, I might add...actually, she is really quite humongous. She is not only taking up all the space, she is taking in all the air as well. It is getting really hard to breathe.

There's an elephant in my room, but somehow, only I seem to notice her. You come in and go out as if she weren't there. So I thought, if I ignore her, if I keep very still, if I pretended she is not there, then maybe, she won't be there!

There is an elephant in my room. At first, I didn't mind her all that much because she didn't take up too much space, and also, I thought she looked sort of cute – an exotic addition to an otherwise drab room. But last week, as I tried to leave the room, I noticed that I had to press hard against the doorpost. That hurt a little, so I begun to get worried and mentioned her to you, but you still couldn't seem to see her, so I ignored her and thought perhaps she wasn't there.

Yesterday, I wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't find the bed! The elephant has grown so big lately, she has covered my bed, my favourite chair, her trunk has no space, so now I have to leave the window open throughout so that it can hang through there. But still you don't see her and every time I start to talk about her, you get up and leave. You walk right through her as though she weren't there!

There's an elephant in my room. But it is only I that seems to see her.

I want to be just like my mum!

Although she may not know it, I think about my mum a lot. She is the absolute best mum in the entire universe, so much so, that i want to be just like her!

My mum is creative. Although I never wore the trendiest clothes, I always wore the best clothes my mother could afford and I felt smarter than any other child alive. I find it hard explaining to my daughter how stunning I looked in a sun dress especially tailored for me from fabric left off from my mother's own dresses, with white socks pulled to the knees and my highly polished school shoes, the one good pair of shoes I had.

My mum is a great and adventurous cook. Whenever I manage to burn water or over-salt the tea, I think of the disgrace I am to this amazing woman who has always taken great pride her cooking. Left over rice or bread was amazingly turned into a delicious, sugary pudding, and it is from my mother's very own kitchen that I first tasted meat pies that actually have meat in them and a yummy crunchy crust.

My mum knows the value of time and she passed on this very important lesson to me. She is never late for an appointment – in fact, she taught me to always plan my travel and arrive 15 minutes early, a lesson I find that really handy since it means I don't turn up panting and sweating for important meetings, but rather have time to compose myself and have an advantage over everyone else.

My mum never has an idle moment. She is constantly on the move, making sure this is done and the other is planned for. Organising farm activities, household chores, travel time, meal menus, charity and social events. She runs lives life so purposefully, even her recreation time doesn't just "happen"!

My mum is full of love. I cannot think of a place I am more assured of love and appreciation "no matter what", than when I am with my mum. Even through my stormy teenage years, I never once felt less loved by my mum, regardless of what I did or said. If there is one thing I have learnt from my mum about mothers, it is that a mother's love never gives up!

The greatest lesson I learnt from mum, however, is to believe, love and respect God. Growing up, not going to church was never an option. You just went! And I might add, you never turned up at church in any old clothes – you had to go in your "Sunday best" and carry yourself with decorum. It is my mother's constant prayers and firm faith in God that set me on the path to discovering a faith of my own and now, just like my mum, I know that I was created for a very special purpose by a God who loves me and who always watches over every detail of my life.

What's love got to do with it?

In 1984 Tina Turner's hit single "What's love got to do with it" made it to number one on the Billboard Hot 100 and stayed there for 3 weeks. Its popularity even today (it is ranked No. 38 on the Songs of the Century), seems to imply that there are many people who agree with her, love is but a 'second-hand emotion' and that a breakable heart is of absolutely no value to anyone! I assume she is referring to romantic love and going by her life story, she has been to the 'school of hard knocks' and back again as far as that is concerned, so I will not fault her for her sentiments.

Judging by some very interesting events unfolding around me lately, I may be able to give a clearer picture about what love has to do with "it". Unlike I had expected when I asked what this thing called love is, I cannot answer Tina in a single statement but instead, I can tell her..

...When she spends more time on the phone with him....
when he hops onto the next bus out of town, to be with her...
When she smiles mysteriously, seemingly at nothing...
When he steps out of a meeting, just to call her...
When she enjoys making a home cooked meal after a long day at work...
When he starts making plans for his future with her in all of them...

Then, I think, it is perfectly safe to say, Tina, that love has everything to do with it!

Time doesn't heal everything

It is often said that time heals everything. I don't think it really does.
Time doesn't heal everything, but time changes the way you see everything.

Time changes the way you see your baby as she walks down the aisle on the arm of a man as they promise each other 'happily ever after'...

Time changes the way you see your indomitable parent who now needs your help up and down the stairs because their body, well, it just no longer is what it used to be...

Time changes how you see a painful break up which you swore never to get over, with your teenage sweetheart who is now in his third marriage.....

Time changes how you see your younger sister on whom you spent years "knocking sense into her head" but whom you now call up for advice every now and again....

Time changes how you see a lost opportunity you had to go to college, when you decided to devote your time and energy getting to know your very young kids....

Time changes how you see the death of your closest and dearest when you realise it is 20 years later and you still have great memories about them and they seem like they happened just yesterday.....

Time doesn't heal everything, not completely, not always...
But time changes how you see everything, completely.....always.

What is this thing called Love?

Some months ago, I got tired of watching the flurry of activity going on around me and having none of the action. Days had gone by without a single one of my "facebook friends" saying or doing anything in my corner so I figured out the best way to get everyone's attention would be to talk about something we all understand. I decided to start a conversation about LOVE.

After posing the question "what is this thing called love" I realised soon enough that nobody seemed to really have the foggiest idea how to define this so called "universal language". I got a few fumbling answers, some text book responses, but nothing satisfactory. Still, I was happy, at least someone was reading and posting something on my wall.

Next, to spice things up, I came up with a philosophical sounding conclusion saying something about love not being an emotion but a decision...really serious high sounding stuff, if I may say so myself. Now that really caught everyone's attention. All of a sudden, they "knew" what love was, or perhaps what it was not....and I got some colourful analogies of how unanticipated love is, most of which I dare not repeat here.

Finally, thoroughly fired up by the attention I was getting, I posted a very romantic quote and not unexpectedly, my "facebook wall" became a hive of activity....My mission was accomplished.

What was really funny about all this though, is that everyone assumed it was romantic love I was asking about. Nobody spoke of the different types of love that we have – a parental love perhaps, the type of love that believes in you even when to the rest of the world it is evident that you have clearly lost your way; or filial love – the kind that you have for your siblings because you know they are yours no matter what you do, and there is just no getting rid of them (love you sis!)....or the kind of love that makes a sister or a brother out of a friend (much like you, "L").

I pose the question again, "What is this thing called Love?"